“I knew I was a twin, but I had no images.” This poignant statement from Juliet Faithfull encapsulates her emotional journey of rediscovery following the death of her identical twin sister, Margarita (Mita). Their story unfolds against the backdrop of a complex family dynamic marked by trauma, memory loss, and institutionalization.
Juliet experienced total amnesia of her life before the age of nine. This condition obscured her memories and left a void where sisterly connection should have thrived. At nine, Juliet’s family relocated from a small village in rural Brazil to Rio de Janeiro. It was during this transition that Mita was sent to live in an institution—a decision driven by societal norms of the 1960s and 70s regarding children with disabilities.
Mita faced significant challenges; she was diagnosed with what was then termed “mental retardation,” but would now be recognized as cerebral palsy coupled with epilepsy. This diagnosis led to her institutionalization, which profoundly affected their family dynamics. Juliet visited Mita every two years in a hospital in England, but those rare encounters did little to bridge the emotional distance created by time and circumstance.
That context matters because it highlights the stark contrast between Juliet’s life and Mita’s. While one sister navigated life with relative normalcy, the other faced the harsh realities of institutional care. As Juliet later reflected, “My memory lived in my body, but not in my brain.” This disconnection fueled her desire to piece together their shared history.
Years later, as she sifted through thousands of childhood slides—many depicting moments shared with Mita—Juliet began to confront her past. The photographs became a catalyst for healing and understanding. They served as tangible links to memories she had lost, allowing her to explore the depths of her identity intertwined with that of her sister.
In a poignant twist of fate, Juliet published a novel titled Liar’s Dice, which captures her experiences with Mita just as Mita’s health deteriorated during the pandemic after contracting Covid. Juliet expressed this sense of confusion when she wrote: “I felt a slip-sliding sense of confusion. Was everything I had written true and not imagined?” Her narrative intertwines memory and trauma—elements that define their bond.
This exploration took time; Juliet remarked, “It would take me another ten years of Thursday nights to finish the book.” Yet through this laborious process, she not only honored Mita’s existence but also confronted her own fragmented memories. The novel stands as a testament to resilience—a reflection on how familial bonds can endure even amid profound loss.
As readers delve into Liar’s Dice, they encounter not just a story about twins but also an exploration of identity shaped by circumstances beyond one’s control. It’s an invitation to reflect on how we remember those we love—and how memory itself can be both a gift and a burden.